Missing Arizona

So I am trying to be so super positive about this move. I am trying to be positive about all of the changes and the NEW Life that we have attempted to begin. 

... so for a moment I want to go backwards.

I am really having the hardest time with this move. I am struggling as to whether or not this was the right decision. We all miss Arizona, we miss out home, we miss out church, we miss out friends.

We made the decision to move back to Utah because it was Home. Our friends and family are here. I truly thought that the move was in our families best interest so that while we were going through some of the hardest changes in our life we would be surrounded by our friends and family..... truth is... it hasn't been that way at all. I think friends and family in Utah were more supportive when we were in Arizona. I feel more alone in Utah than I felt in Arizona. It's hard.

Just about every day since we left the kids have asked to go back Home, referring to Arizona... I kept telling them that we are home; that Utah is out home. I think I was wrong.

Today I am missing the warm weather, the tile floors, the palm tree in my backyard. I am missing having a house full of my children's friends, driving Alexys to see Tyler, having a grocery store and gas station within walking distance. Having Chandler disappear with Bill and Jayden on their bikes, going to the gym to hang out and work out with my support group and friends. I miss my neighbors and neighborhood, the gravel landscaping and blooming everything.

Reality is I know that Home is wherever the three of us are together but Utah feels so far from Home to me right now. It feels cold and lonely. Now that I have vented... time to get my rear in the shower, ready for the day and drive to return my daughter's box spring that we bought on CHristmas Eve not knowing it was a Queen instead of a Full.

Missing Arizona and the Home we had created there....