Today is the date of my birth. Even though I chose not to have a relationship with my mother I am still thankful to both her and my dad for bringing me into this world 31 years ago today.
I's funny the last few years I have had friends turning 30 and getting 'over the hill' parties thrown. Cracks me up! I really never freaking out last year when I turned 30. Honestly, it partly wasn't a big deal because I started having children young so my children alone age me. I felt old before 30.
Thirty wasn't too bad for me. I joined a gym, learned how to eat clean. lost a bunch of weight, quit smoking, started smoking again, and again, and again... I became a stay at home mom, a cheer mom, football mom, and a student. This past year has come with it's challenges just as the year ahead will have a different set of challenges but I rolled with the punches and turned 31.
Thirty-one will be a year of rediscovery for me. We are moving back to Eagle Mountain here in a couple of weeks, starting all over again will be challenging however will build my relationship with Jesus and my children. I will be a single mom all over again, however I will remain a full-time student, find employment and figure it all out. A couple of months ago I decided that I had to start putting things in God's hands and have faith that He will provide. I have had moments where I panic and then I remember that I simply need to fall to my knees and pray for guidance. He will provide. Sometimes I pray and the answers I get aren't the ones I want to hear, sometimes the answer is No. But at the end of each day, He has provided and slowly everything is starting to work out.
Today, I have so much to be thankful and grateful for - my children, my family and my friends. Thank you for all of your love and support. Today I am thankful that I am 31.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Monday, November 26, 2012
Holidays Stink
It isn't a secret that I am pretty much all bah-hum-bug lately. Moving during the holidays is not ideal for anyone. When Paul and I decided to get a divorce and I decided to move myself and the kids back to Utah I pretty much told the kids that the holidays will entail us moving. My gift to them is returning home to Utah where our friends and families are present. The gift of family in my opinion should be considered the greatest gift of all.
But am I wrong? Should I be trying to shop for Christmas gifts that I will have to find somewhere to pack them and move them? Should I be attempting to decorate as I normally would just to tear it all down a week before Christmas to put it on the moving truck?
I want to attempt to keep things as normal as possible for the kids but at what point do I focus on the packing and moving? I would never suggest to anyone to decide to move during the holidays. It really "for Me" ruins the holidays.
But am I wrong? Should I be trying to shop for Christmas gifts that I will have to find somewhere to pack them and move them? Should I be attempting to decorate as I normally would just to tear it all down a week before Christmas to put it on the moving truck?
I want to attempt to keep things as normal as possible for the kids but at what point do I focus on the packing and moving? I would never suggest to anyone to decide to move during the holidays. It really "for Me" ruins the holidays.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
AZ Life Coming to an END
Well it is finally official; our Arizona life is coming to an end. Flights are scheduled for family to fly in to help pack up and drive our belongings to a storage unit in Utah. U-Haul is booked and waiting to be picked up. Back of my truck is full of boxes just waiting to be filled.
The move is bitter sweet. As we leave Arizona we also leave behind us the family and life that we once had. I have had many days where I go back and forth questioning if agreeing to a divorce was the right option or if mistakes were made. Reality is that mistakes were made on both ends. I have come to terms with the situation and really believe that this is what is best for all of us. But that doesn't make any of it any easier.
I am not sure yet where the kids and I will land or where we will make our home in Utah but I do know that it will be the three of us together. Really that is all that matters. I am excited to have the opportunity to watch my nieces and nephew grow up. I am thrilled that I will be just a short drive away from my sisters and my brother. I am blessed that we have two church communities that we have missed and grateful that we will always be welcome to come back. Coffee with the girls will at some point resume. So many things that we are looking forward to.
I am so blessed to have met so many amazing people while here in Arizona and it will be hard to leave them behind. I hope that the kids and I can plan future trips to come back and visit friends and our current church community.
Anyhow, everything happens for a reason. Our past transforms us into who we are and our future is something that only God has the power to decide. So for now I will continue to trust that God has a plan for us and we will be where he needs us to be in our future. Living in the moment is about all I am prepared to focus on. So blessed I am.
The move is bitter sweet. As we leave Arizona we also leave behind us the family and life that we once had. I have had many days where I go back and forth questioning if agreeing to a divorce was the right option or if mistakes were made. Reality is that mistakes were made on both ends. I have come to terms with the situation and really believe that this is what is best for all of us. But that doesn't make any of it any easier.
I am not sure yet where the kids and I will land or where we will make our home in Utah but I do know that it will be the three of us together. Really that is all that matters. I am excited to have the opportunity to watch my nieces and nephew grow up. I am thrilled that I will be just a short drive away from my sisters and my brother. I am blessed that we have two church communities that we have missed and grateful that we will always be welcome to come back. Coffee with the girls will at some point resume. So many things that we are looking forward to.
I am so blessed to have met so many amazing people while here in Arizona and it will be hard to leave them behind. I hope that the kids and I can plan future trips to come back and visit friends and our current church community.
Anyhow, everything happens for a reason. Our past transforms us into who we are and our future is something that only God has the power to decide. So for now I will continue to trust that God has a plan for us and we will be where he needs us to be in our future. Living in the moment is about all I am prepared to focus on. So blessed I am.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Lost
Feeling pretty lost today.
I am faced with the should we stay in Arizona or should we go back to Utah questions.
I have tried to sit down and weigh out all of the pro's and con's of both but I still don't know what the right decision is, what choice is the right one to make.
Reality is that we will end up starting all over. Arizona has the perk of cheaper housing due to the current economy and some of the jobs out here can be higher paying... well that is if you are able to competitively obtain those positions.
Utah is home - for me that kind of says it all. But it raises all of the same questions. Where do we move, which area's would be better, do we try to find something affordable in Eagle Mountain? So many questions. Then there is work, continuing my college, high schools for the kids.
Really all of these things are what keep me up at night. I remind myself each day that I have to give it to God and trust that his plan will work out the way it needs to. But really, if you know me well you also know that I am a planner, I don't normally do things with out a well thought out plan so giving it to God can be really hard for me at times, then I worry because I am trying to control what is out of control in my life that I am screwing His plan up. Who knows.
I guess at this moment, I will simply try to give it to God and let it be in His hands... Go find something to make for dinner for the kiddo's.... and cuddle with them on the couch and just Thank God that at least when everything in life is out of control and I still have my children.
I am faced with the should we stay in Arizona or should we go back to Utah questions.
I have tried to sit down and weigh out all of the pro's and con's of both but I still don't know what the right decision is, what choice is the right one to make.
Reality is that we will end up starting all over. Arizona has the perk of cheaper housing due to the current economy and some of the jobs out here can be higher paying... well that is if you are able to competitively obtain those positions.
Utah is home - for me that kind of says it all. But it raises all of the same questions. Where do we move, which area's would be better, do we try to find something affordable in Eagle Mountain? So many questions. Then there is work, continuing my college, high schools for the kids.
Really all of these things are what keep me up at night. I remind myself each day that I have to give it to God and trust that his plan will work out the way it needs to. But really, if you know me well you also know that I am a planner, I don't normally do things with out a well thought out plan so giving it to God can be really hard for me at times, then I worry because I am trying to control what is out of control in my life that I am screwing His plan up. Who knows.
I guess at this moment, I will simply try to give it to God and let it be in His hands... Go find something to make for dinner for the kiddo's.... and cuddle with them on the couch and just Thank God that at least when everything in life is out of control and I still have my children.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Everything Happens For A Reason
I have always said that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes I don't know or understand the reasoning but I have always believed this statement. Lately, I have struggled with find reason for the things happening in my life and I often have to remember that I have to give it to God and trust that His will will be done. This is hard for me.
Our family is going through many of changes. Some too personal to post. What I do ask for now is simply pray for us. Give us our space to allow us to work through the issues at hand. The last month has been difficult and I understand family and friends want to be there to support us and I also understand that some people just want to be nosy and want to know what is going on. Please, Please, just pray for us, pray that we have the strength and courage to make the right decisions. Pray for Alexys and Chandler's health, since they are athletes both of them have had some fun injuries. Alexys is dealing with some bad Bronchitis issues and we are getting ready to see a specialist.
Finally, pray for Paul. His health has been a challenge. Diabetes is an up hill battle all of the time. He works a lot of hours which at times makes it difficult to take care of his health.
Above all, for today; I am simply going to remember that everything does happen for a reason and apparently right now I am not able to see the end game or the big picture but I have to trust it will all work out the way it is meant to be.
Have a blessed day.
Our family is going through many of changes. Some too personal to post. What I do ask for now is simply pray for us. Give us our space to allow us to work through the issues at hand. The last month has been difficult and I understand family and friends want to be there to support us and I also understand that some people just want to be nosy and want to know what is going on. Please, Please, just pray for us, pray that we have the strength and courage to make the right decisions. Pray for Alexys and Chandler's health, since they are athletes both of them have had some fun injuries. Alexys is dealing with some bad Bronchitis issues and we are getting ready to see a specialist.
Finally, pray for Paul. His health has been a challenge. Diabetes is an up hill battle all of the time. He works a lot of hours which at times makes it difficult to take care of his health.
Above all, for today; I am simply going to remember that everything does happen for a reason and apparently right now I am not able to see the end game or the big picture but I have to trust it will all work out the way it is meant to be.
Have a blessed day.
Friday, March 9, 2012
24 Day Challenge Result
Funny, last night I tried so hard to get some sleep but I was so excited to go to the gym and get my measurements done. Today is the 24th day of my 24 Day Challenge.
I am down 17 pounds!!!!!
I have also lost a total of 11.25 inches!!!!!
Today I am jumping out of my skin with joy. 24 Days ago I was still wearing my super cute 17/18 Hydraulic Jeans that I totally loved. Today, I am wearing women's size 12, juniors size 13 jeans!!
So went Paul and I started dating 6+ years ago I wore a 14/16. I have yo-yo'd weight wise for so long. When I went shopping and snugly fit into my jeans last weekend I was thrilled! I put my jeans away for the week and continued to bust butt at the gym and today I was able to button them with no effort, actually I have a feeling I am going to already need new jeans in a couple of weeks. But that I am okay with.
As of today I have lost 46 pounds since I moved here to Arizona. So you ask how is my Arizona Life?
Well as of today - FANTASTIC! There are no more excuses. There is no holding back and there is NO WAY I am putting any of those pounds back on! This was not a New Year's Resolution like most. When I moved here, I decided I needed to change my life. I needed to find that happy place and work on me. I am blessed to have an amazing, supportive husband that has allowed me and supported me all the way through this. On my good days and on my bad ones!
Now that I am loving being thinner than even when I met my husband there is no stopping me! My goal is to be in a size 5-7. Honestly, I look back at pictures and didn't really like how unhealthy I looked when I was super thin, so I have decided not be be thin but to be healthy. My goal is to lose another 30 pounds and after my challenge this month I can see that my goal is obtainable and can't wait.
Not every program out there works for everyone. However if you are interested in the one I am doing let me know. I would love to share how I got here. I have eaten 5-6 meals every single day, I have not starved myself of gone hungry and am only doing 45 minutes to an hour of cardio daily. But I am living proof that if you set your mind to something you can do it. 46 pounds since we moved here at the end of August, gone!
Till Next Time! Make a Plan and STICK TO IT! Only you can change you.
Tasha
I am down 17 pounds!!!!!
I have also lost a total of 11.25 inches!!!!!
Today I am jumping out of my skin with joy. 24 Days ago I was still wearing my super cute 17/18 Hydraulic Jeans that I totally loved. Today, I am wearing women's size 12, juniors size 13 jeans!!
So went Paul and I started dating 6+ years ago I wore a 14/16. I have yo-yo'd weight wise for so long. When I went shopping and snugly fit into my jeans last weekend I was thrilled! I put my jeans away for the week and continued to bust butt at the gym and today I was able to button them with no effort, actually I have a feeling I am going to already need new jeans in a couple of weeks. But that I am okay with.
As of today I have lost 46 pounds since I moved here to Arizona. So you ask how is my Arizona Life?
Well as of today - FANTASTIC! There are no more excuses. There is no holding back and there is NO WAY I am putting any of those pounds back on! This was not a New Year's Resolution like most. When I moved here, I decided I needed to change my life. I needed to find that happy place and work on me. I am blessed to have an amazing, supportive husband that has allowed me and supported me all the way through this. On my good days and on my bad ones!
Now that I am loving being thinner than even when I met my husband there is no stopping me! My goal is to be in a size 5-7. Honestly, I look back at pictures and didn't really like how unhealthy I looked when I was super thin, so I have decided not be be thin but to be healthy. My goal is to lose another 30 pounds and after my challenge this month I can see that my goal is obtainable and can't wait.
Not every program out there works for everyone. However if you are interested in the one I am doing let me know. I would love to share how I got here. I have eaten 5-6 meals every single day, I have not starved myself of gone hungry and am only doing 45 minutes to an hour of cardio daily. But I am living proof that if you set your mind to something you can do it. 46 pounds since we moved here at the end of August, gone!
Till Next Time! Make a Plan and STICK TO IT! Only you can change you.
Tasha
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
24 Day Challenge/Newer Version of Me
Last Wednesday I decided to start another 24 Day Challenge. Using the amazing AdvoCare Products I have grown to love. https://www.advocare.com/1112284/Store/ItemDetail.aspx?itemCode=99038&id=A&flavor=1
Today is day 6 and I am down 6 pounds! Don't get me wrong it is not always great to lose lots of weight really quickly however these products have many benefits. The first 10 days is a cleanse, hence the reason for such great weight loss :) Plus I have chosen to also do a carb depletion along with my challenge. So far its going pretty well. I get up and drink my Spark, 30 minutes later have a meal replacement shake and when I get home from the gym I eat some nuts or a protein shake depending on my workout and what my body needs. Every three days I switch out my snacks to berries. Its funny when I look at the amounts of food I am eating everyday and wonder how I am going to simply eat it all. I have been on the regimen of eating 3 full meals and two healthy snacks each day since December and have been amazed at how much better I feel.
Who would have thunk you actually needed to eat to lose weight? Well not me! Its been a slow process but for the first time this week..... I can actually put shorts on and be proud of how I look in them. Don't get me wrong I still have a long road ahead of me to be at my goal weight but I am proud of where I am now. I am starting to feel better in my own skin and not be ashamed of what I look like. This is all pretty big for me!
So here is the reality. The TRUTH to my weight. When Paul moved me and the kids down to Arizona at the end of August, I was looking better, had slimmed down a bit. BUT, I weighed 220 pounds. Yep, I said 220 pounds. Can you believe that? I had many of days spent in tears wondering how I had gotten to where I was. Part of it was drinking soda and coffee daily, part of it was eating out all together, the occasional binge eating of junk food but the biggest part of what got me to 220 pounds was not loving or caring about myself enough to EAT! I went through the motions each day eating once, maybe twice. I was never hungry so I didn't eat. Of course WHO can be hungry when they have drank an entire pot of coffee between 6 AM and Noon? Oh and then ran to the gas station for a 32 oz Dr Pepper. Yep that was me.
As of this morning, I weigh truth be told 184 pounds. In the last five months I have lost a total of 36 pounds. Don't get me wrong, I have had my moments of going back to my old routines and ways except here the gas station has any size of soda for only $.79. My favorite was half of the 44 oz cup with cherry slushy and the rest with Dr. Pepper, what better way to keep your soda cold. :) But in January I saw myself going backwards and between January and the beginning of February I saw not one single pound lost even though I was hitting the gym six days a week and sweating my rear off. So I realized that even adding something so simple as soda back in was what was killing my weight loss cause of all of the sugar. Thank goodness I put my head back on straight because today I don't want a soda, just another Spark! My wonderful sugar free, caffeine free vitamin loaded Spark it what gets me through my day! Thank goodness.
So here is to another day of super clean eating, exercise and a positive attitude knowing that the only person that can make changes in me is ME! Still have 18 days left on my challenge and my goal isn't to lose weight, okay maybe to hit the 10 pound loss mark which is near, but to continue to be the healthier version of me! Salmon, asparagus and salad for lunch! Tilapia, broccoli and salad for dinner with some almonds for my afternoon snack! Yummy!
Today is day 6 and I am down 6 pounds! Don't get me wrong it is not always great to lose lots of weight really quickly however these products have many benefits. The first 10 days is a cleanse, hence the reason for such great weight loss :) Plus I have chosen to also do a carb depletion along with my challenge. So far its going pretty well. I get up and drink my Spark, 30 minutes later have a meal replacement shake and when I get home from the gym I eat some nuts or a protein shake depending on my workout and what my body needs. Every three days I switch out my snacks to berries. Its funny when I look at the amounts of food I am eating everyday and wonder how I am going to simply eat it all. I have been on the regimen of eating 3 full meals and two healthy snacks each day since December and have been amazed at how much better I feel.
Who would have thunk you actually needed to eat to lose weight? Well not me! Its been a slow process but for the first time this week..... I can actually put shorts on and be proud of how I look in them. Don't get me wrong I still have a long road ahead of me to be at my goal weight but I am proud of where I am now. I am starting to feel better in my own skin and not be ashamed of what I look like. This is all pretty big for me!
So here is the reality. The TRUTH to my weight. When Paul moved me and the kids down to Arizona at the end of August, I was looking better, had slimmed down a bit. BUT, I weighed 220 pounds. Yep, I said 220 pounds. Can you believe that? I had many of days spent in tears wondering how I had gotten to where I was. Part of it was drinking soda and coffee daily, part of it was eating out all together, the occasional binge eating of junk food but the biggest part of what got me to 220 pounds was not loving or caring about myself enough to EAT! I went through the motions each day eating once, maybe twice. I was never hungry so I didn't eat. Of course WHO can be hungry when they have drank an entire pot of coffee between 6 AM and Noon? Oh and then ran to the gas station for a 32 oz Dr Pepper. Yep that was me.
As of this morning, I weigh truth be told 184 pounds. In the last five months I have lost a total of 36 pounds. Don't get me wrong, I have had my moments of going back to my old routines and ways except here the gas station has any size of soda for only $.79. My favorite was half of the 44 oz cup with cherry slushy and the rest with Dr. Pepper, what better way to keep your soda cold. :) But in January I saw myself going backwards and between January and the beginning of February I saw not one single pound lost even though I was hitting the gym six days a week and sweating my rear off. So I realized that even adding something so simple as soda back in was what was killing my weight loss cause of all of the sugar. Thank goodness I put my head back on straight because today I don't want a soda, just another Spark! My wonderful sugar free, caffeine free vitamin loaded Spark it what gets me through my day! Thank goodness.
So here is to another day of super clean eating, exercise and a positive attitude knowing that the only person that can make changes in me is ME! Still have 18 days left on my challenge and my goal isn't to lose weight, okay maybe to hit the 10 pound loss mark which is near, but to continue to be the healthier version of me! Salmon, asparagus and salad for lunch! Tilapia, broccoli and salad for dinner with some almonds for my afternoon snack! Yummy!
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
AdvoCare
So here is some great information. I became an independent distributor for AdvoCare which sells some health and wellness products. www.advocare.com/1112284/ I started with AdvoCare products when I decided to complete the 24 Day Challenge in December. I purchased my products and my mentor and trainer provided me with a complete day to day guide of what to do and how to do it. Also he gave me a list of foods I could eat and those to avoid along with an electronic version of a cook book that had recipes that followed my new eating plans. This has been great!
My biggest struggle with my weight loss was the fact that for so long I simply never ate enough food. With AdvoCare I eat, actually I eat 5 times each day! I was able to do a 10 day cleanse and eat every single day! These products have changed my life. Now Paul and I start each day with a Mandarin Orange Spark which is caffeine free and sugar free. No more coffee, no more tea, no more soda!
Anyhow, here's my site again. www.advocare.com/1112284/ Check it out and see if there are any products that interest you. If you have questions let me know!
My biggest struggle with my weight loss was the fact that for so long I simply never ate enough food. With AdvoCare I eat, actually I eat 5 times each day! I was able to do a 10 day cleanse and eat every single day! These products have changed my life. Now Paul and I start each day with a Mandarin Orange Spark which is caffeine free and sugar free. No more coffee, no more tea, no more soda!
Anyhow, here's my site again. www.advocare.com/1112284/ Check it out and see if there are any products that interest you. If you have questions let me know!
Changes
So I have not posted as often as I have wanted. So many changes have been occurring. I have stuck with going to the gym 5-6 days each week. I now am biking 50 miles each week and it feels sooo good to do it. I am a full time student which of course makes me super busy! But I am sticking with it. I have changed my way of eating. Yes I did just have one slice of pizza and a hand full of popcorn for super bowl however. That is ALL I had. I didn't eat half of a pizza, I didn't eat it the next day. I love my salads and commonly have a chicken salad with vinegar each day. I love, love , love the ways I have changed my life and my eating habits. I have done well and lost a ton of weight. I am feeling better, look healthier and officially none of my clothes fit anymore! Time to go shopping!!
Anyhow, Alexys made cheer squad! She does so well and is sooo bright! I am so proud of her.
Chandler is playing soccer and loves learning new skills. He is also going to San Diego this Thursday as part of his school Science Program. They will be going to Sea World and exploring San Diego and the beach for three whole days; I am sooo going to miss him.
And last but not least, Paul is working his butt off! We just had the best mini get away this last weekend and went to dinner and dancing with friends. It was great!
Okay this was a quick post but back to school work! :) Will post again soon!
Anyhow, Alexys made cheer squad! She does so well and is sooo bright! I am so proud of her.
Chandler is playing soccer and loves learning new skills. He is also going to San Diego this Thursday as part of his school Science Program. They will be going to Sea World and exploring San Diego and the beach for three whole days; I am sooo going to miss him.
And last but not least, Paul is working his butt off! We just had the best mini get away this last weekend and went to dinner and dancing with friends. It was great!
Okay this was a quick post but back to school work! :) Will post again soon!
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